Television is not a Couple's Enemy

It is true that we live in a society that is constantly immersing itself in media images from television and the web as well. But when it comes to relationship issues and why so many fail; the idea of blaming it to too much television viewing is just not enough.

Building a relationship from the foundation is difficult. In the process we have ups, downs and disappointments, but this is the most important step to succeed in it. Establishing solid bases would help us to know each other more and create the confidence to express our feelings. We are constantly bombarded with all the media messages about how a perfect relationship should be or how it should look like. Everyday people wake up to turn on the TV and find out more images from a reality show or a TV episode that pictures the “perfect couple with the happy ending”. The messages are there and they are obvious, but it depends on how the person can interpret; and then apply it to himself, herself and to his or her relationship. If the person comes from an environment with weak moral values and limited parental guidance towards building relationships, it will be more difficult to understand the concept of creating strong foundations.

 It is important to realize that relationships need to develop deep roots that can support them throughout tough times. Lidice Escalona, a Mental Health Counselor with 10 years of experience working for the University of Miami Hospital agrees that a weak foundation in a relationship can be one the main issues in failing relationships, and that many of the couples’s problems nowadays come from also a “weak foundation as an individual”. She stated that, “a person with poor guidance and poor moral values may show weak intimacy with the other half and this is not definitely something that started with TV. It is something that started with the upbringing and development of the individual”.

Also Gemma Valavala, a supervisor at Windsor Primary school for the After School Program, and happily married for two years now, expressed that she does not worry too much about her husband watching TV because they have a solid foundation and they make sure to communicate regularly. She even joked around saying, “TV is not the reason why they have arguments”.

 But how can we know if you are building strong foundations to our relationships even if we are coming from an uneducated background towards the topic. According to Mental Health Counselor, Lidice Escalona, the following are some key advices that will help you test how solid is your relationship’s foundation.

1. How well do you communicate with your partner? Communication should be top priority and it must be clear, simple and reciprocal.

 2. If you don’t have the first step, please work on it. If you do have an excellent communication; then take care of it and pamper it. An example of how doing this is to devote time to the communication. You could either spare some time together at home, or surprise your better half with an unplanned date.

 3. Are you fostering mutual trust and respect? Trust and respect are key ingredients in successful relationships, and practicing is not difficult. For instance, if your partner has a hobby that he or she enjoys to do, your duty should be to support that and give him or her space.

 4. How is your intimacy with you partner? Intimacy not only refers to sexual relationship. You can also be intimate when you give a kiss, a hug or spend time together.

 5. Are you sharing an activity together? This could be really useful if you decide to spend time watching TV together because you can decide what kind of shows to watch. It is better to choose tv shows with educational topics so that can spark conversations among the two of you.

 6. Finally, take responsibility for your failures and do not allow that pride prevents you to acknowledge your mistakes, avoid at all cost thinking "why we always".

These are just some advices that might work for you. Also if you want to make a big change just try to take the time to evaluate the relationship and fix whatever the problems are keeping always  a positive attitude and working as a team with your partner.

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